Dual-Military Marriage: Co-Location, BAH, Deployment & Career Strategy

Bottom Line Up Front: Dual-military couples face unique challenges (co-location not guaranteed, dual deployments, career timing) but significant financial benefits (2x BAH = $4,000-$6,000/month, 2x TSP, double retirement). Join Spouse program helps co-location (60-80% success rate). Both can't deploy simultaneously if you have kids (requires Family Care Plan). Communication and career sacrifice planning essential.

Financial Benefits of Dual-Military Marriage

BAH (Housing Allowance)

Scenario 1: No Kids

• Both get BAH without dependents
• E-5 + E-5 in San Diego: $2,409 + $2,409 = $4,818/month
• Rent apartment: $2,500
• Pocket: $2,318/month ($27,816/year)

Scenario 2: With Kids

• One gets BAH with dependents
• Other gets BAH without dependents
• E-6 ($1,893 with deps) + E-5 ($1,497 without) = $3,390/month
• Still better than single military couple

Scenario 3: Geo-Bachelor (Different Duty Stations)

• Both get BAH (for separate locations)
• Family Separation Allowance: $250/month
• E-7 (Norfolk) + O-3 (San Diego) = $2,202 + $2,592 = $4,794/month
• But paying for 2 households (expensive)

Retirement (Double Pension)

Example: Both retire at 20 years

• E-7: $2,600/month pension
• E-6: $2,100/month pension
• Combined: $4,700/month = $56,400/year for life

TSP (Double Match Under BRS)

With BRS:

• E-6 contributes 5%: $175/month match
• O-3 contributes 5%: $300/month match
• Combined match: $475/month = $5,700/year FREE

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Co-Location Strategy (Join Spouse Program)

How Join Spouse Works

Definition: Military attempts to assign married couples to same duty station or within commuting distance.

Success Rate:

• 60-80% co-located (varies by branch, MOS)
• Higher success for common career fields
• Lower success for specialized jobs (linguist, EOD, etc.)

Requirements

Must:

• Be legally married
• Both on active duty
• Update DEERS with marriage
• Submit Join Spouse request in assignment system

Does NOT guarantee:

• Same base (just "reasonable commuting distance")
• Same timing of PCS
• Same deployment cycle

Best Practices for Co-Location

Strategy #1: Choose Common Career Fields

• Infantry + Supply = Hard to co-locate
• Admin + Medical = Easier (more bases need these)
• IT + IT = Easier (high demand everywhere)

Strategy #2: Volunteer for Less Desirable Locations

• Everyone wants San Diego, DC, Hawaii
• Volunteer for Fort Polk, Fort Drum, Fort Irwin = easier co-location

Strategy #3: Apply Early

• Submit Join Spouse request 12+ months before PCS window
• Update request every assignment cycle
• Be proactive (don't assume it happens automatically)

Strategy #4: One Spouse Takes Assignment Control

• Designate one as "priority" for career
• Other follows (accepts less desirable assignments)
• Alternate who has priority every 3-5 years

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Deployment Coordination

Family Care Plan (REQUIRED if You Have Kids)

What it is: Legal document designating caregiver if both parents deploy

Requirements:

• Must designate short-term caregiver (during deployment prep)
• Must designate long-term caregiver (for deployment duration)
• Caregiver must be able to travel to duty station within 24 hours
• Power of Attorney for caregiver
• Updated every 12 months

Consequences of not having one:

• Can't deploy
• Can face UCMJ action
• Could lead to separation from military

Deployment Coordination Rules

Policy: Both parents cannot deploy simultaneously (in most cases)

Reality:

• One deploys, other stays
• Units coordinate to avoid dual deployment
• But not always perfect (especially in high-tempo environments)

What to do:

• Communicate with chain of command early
• Request deployment timing coordination
• Have robust Family Care Plan

Single Deployment Strategies

Option 1: Stagger Deployments

• One deploys Jan-July
• Other deploys Aug-Feb (following year)
• Allows one parent home always

Option 2: One Spouse Takes Non-Deployable Assignment

• Recruiting duty
• Training instructor
• Staff position
• Reduces dual deployment risk

Option 3: One Spouse Leaves Active Duty

• Switch to Reserves/Guard
• Or separate completely
• Guarantees one parent always home

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Career Management (Who Sacrifices?)

The Hard Truth

Reality:

• One career often takes priority
• Other makes sacrifices (assignments, promotions, deployments)
• Resentment builds if not addressed

Solution:

• Discuss career goals BEFORE marriage
• Create 5-year plan: whose career takes priority when
• Revisit every PCS cycle

Common Strategies

Strategy #1: Alternating Priority

• Years 1-5: Spouse A's career priority
• Years 6-10: Spouse B's career priority
• Repeat

Strategy #2: Rank-Based Priority

• Higher-ranking spouse's career takes priority
• Maximizes family income and retirement

Strategy #3: One Stays, One Goes

• One stays active duty (full career)
• Other does 4-10 years, then transitions (GI Bill, civilian career)

Strategy #4: Both Serve Full Careers

• Accept geo-bachelor assignments
• Accept non-co-located tours
• Harder on family, but both careers intact

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PCS Challenges for Dual-Military

Scenario 1: Both PCS, Different Timing

Problem:

• Spouse A PCS in June
• Spouse B PCS in November
• Living in 3 locations in 1 year

Solutions:

• Request assignment alignment (ask branch managers)
• One spouse requests early/late report date
• Geo-bachelor for 6 months

Scenario 2: One PCS, Other Can't Co-Locate

Problem:

• Spouse A gets orders to Korea (unaccompanied)
• Spouse B can't follow (no Join Spouse slots)

Solutions:

• Spouse A declines orders (if possible, hurts career)
• Spouse B requests Korea also (might work)
• Accept 12-month separation

Scenario 3: Both Get Orders, Different Locations

Problem:

• Spouse A: Fort Bragg
• Spouse B: Fort Lewis
• 3,000 miles apart

Solutions:

• One spouse requests assignment deletion (rare, hard to get)
• Accept geo-bachelor (expensive, hard on marriage)
• One spouse leaves active duty

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Childcare for Dual-Military Families

On-Base Childcare (CDC)

Priority:

• Dual-military families get priority enrollment
• Still 6-12 month waitlist
• Cost: $100-$800/month (sliding scale)

Apply:

• Immediately upon marriage/pregnancy
• Update waitlist every 3 months

Family Care Plan Options

Grandparents:

• Most common choice
• Must live within travel distance or willing to relocate

Extended Family:

• Siblings, aunts/uncles
• Must be 18+ and capable

Paid Caregiver:

• Nanny or au pair
• Expensive ($2,000-$4,000/month)

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Common Dual-Military Mistakes

❌ Mistake #1: Not Submitting Join Spouse Request

Reality: You assume military will automatically co-locate you. They don't. You get orders to opposite coasts.

Fix: Submit Join Spouse request immediately after marriage. Update every assignment cycle.

❌ Mistake #2: No Family Care Plan (With Kids)

Reality: You both get deployment orders. No Family Care Plan. Both can't deploy. One faces UCMJ.

Fix: Create Family Care Plan within 30 days of having kids (or getting married with kids).

❌ Mistake #3: Not Discussing Career Sacrifice Before Marriage

Reality: You both want to be E-9/O-6. Turns out one has to sacrifice assignments for co-location. Resentment builds.

Fix: Have hard conversation BEFORE marriage. Agree on whose career takes priority when.

❌ Mistake #4: Not Using BAH Strategically

Reality: You live in expensive apartment. Your combined BAH is $5,000/month. You pay $4,500 rent. You save $500/month.

Fix: Live below your BAH. Rent for $3,000. Save $2,000/month = $24,000/year.

❌ Mistake #5: Both Deploying (Leaving Kids with Unstable Caregiver)

Reality: You designate friend as caregiver. Friend backs out. Kids end up with CPS.

Fix: Have solid, reliable, COMMITTED caregiver. Preferably family.

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Dual-Military Divorce (Unique Issues)

BAH After Divorce

With kids:

• Parent with primary custody: BAH with dependents
• Other parent: BAH without dependents

No kids:

• Both: BAH without dependents

Retirement Division

Both have retirement:

• Each keeps own retirement
• OR court divides both (rare)

One retires, one doesn't:

• Retiring spouse's retirement divided per state law

Dual PCS After Divorce

Problem:

• You're divorced but still dual-military
• Both get PCS orders
• Kids custody arrangement disrupted

Solution:

• Court order specifying primary residence
• One spouse requests assignment to stay near kids
• Legal custody modification

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Action Steps

Before Marriage:

1. ✅ Discuss career goals honestly
2. ✅ Decide whose career takes priority (initially)
3. ✅ Understand co-location success rate for your MOSs

After Marriage:

1. ✅ Update DEERS immediately
2. ✅ Submit Join Spouse request in assignment system
3. ✅ Create financial plan (how to use dual BAH)

With Kids:

1. ✅ Create Family Care Plan (within 30 days)
2. ✅ Update annually
3. ✅ Apply for on-base childcare immediately

Every PCS Cycle:

1. ✅ Update Join Spouse request
2. ✅ Communicate with branch managers
3. ✅ Reassess whose career takes priority

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Verification & Sources

Official Sources:

• DoD Join Spouse Program policies
• Family Care Plan requirements (AR 600-20, OPNAVINST 1740.5)
• Military OneSource Dual-Military resources

Last Updated: October 31, 2025

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Related Guides

• Marriage & BAH Complete Guide
• Military Divorce Guide
• Family Care Plan: Complete Template & Guide

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Remember: Dual-military marriage is challenging but rewarding. Financial benefits are enormous ($100,000+ over career). Success requires communication, sacrifice, planning, and flexibility. Many dual-military couples thrive — but it takes work from both partners.